After More Than 10,000 Virginians Mistakenly Lose Right to Vote, Glenn Boldly Responds: “Oops.”

October 12, 2023

With early voting well underway, it was discovered last week that more than 10,000 Virginians mistakenly lost their ability to vote right before a critical election that will determine control of the General Assembly.

When confronted by a gaggle of reporters in Richmond, Glenn responded forcefully when hearing the news. “Oops,” he said, before shrugging and redirecting the journalists to instead compliment his new sweater vest. 

Unfortunately, the Marxist media kept pushing. When asked if such a massive oversight that took place on Glenn’s watch had effectively disenfranchised thousands of Virginians right before a statewide election, Glenn couldn’t be reached for comment. Physically. He ran into the Executive Mansion so fast.

When someone is powered by the Spirit of America, they can duck just about anything!

According to multiple reports, many individuals were removed from the voting rolls even after having their rights restored, often when probation violations were incorrectly classified as new felonies. There are also nearly 300 Virginians who simply had their names removed from voter rolls with no explanation given.

Typical lamestream media. Haven’t we done these folks a huge favor by removing all the stress that comes with something as burdensome as civil rights?

“Glenn’s track record is clear,” an unnamed consultant said, scrolling through TruthSocial. “He’s empowered Republicans in the General Assembly to limit in-person absentee voting, repeal same-day voter registration and reintroduce photo ID requirements. He’s even taken it upon himself to remove Virginia from the nonpartisan, anti-fraud Electronic Registration Information Center voting compact and limit the automatic restoration of rights. The man adores voting rights, and he’s proving it by making it much more exclusive!”

When presented with the letter Democrats in Virginia’s Congressional Delegation wrote to the Department of Justice requesting an investigation into potential Voting Rights Act violations, the consultant smiled and placed a toothpick in the corner of his mouth.

“Since when have we ever needed to rely on the federal government to ensure civil rights protections?” he said.

Hear hear!