Glenn Embarks on New Phase of Trump VP Tryouts by Going After Dastardly Voters

June 14, 2024

RICHMOND, VA – Governor Doug Burgum might be the MAGA flavor of the month right now, but we all know that it’s our guy Glenn who’s truly working overtime to earn the Trump Vice Presidential nod.

And after reading this glowing piece in The Federalist, The Spirit of America was moved to release an official statement in support of Glenn and his proud campaign for the much vaunted VP spot:

“Last week, Glenn flexed his red-vested muscles by ignoring a law he didn’t like, humbly comparing himself to the Founding Fathers in the process. But ignoring laws passed by duly-elected representatives isn’t enough to win Trump’s favor; you’ve also got to circumvent the legislative process and sign your own bold executive orders. 

So last Friday, Glenn did just that, signing Executive Order 31 to “strengthen Virginia’s voter rolls and ensure better data accuracy.” Until last year, Virginia was a part of the multistate Electronic Registration Information Center (ERIC) dedicated to this very goal, but Glenn wasn’t fooled; he removed us from this ‘effective’ and ‘nonpartisan’ organization based on well-informed, freedom-focused conspiracy theories. 

Now, with his new Executive Order, Glenn has made himself the kind of alpha that Trump is looking for in a Vice President: someone who’s ready and willing to disrupt all those rigged elections, strongly imply that voter fraud is rampant, and build on their commitment to making it harder for the wrong types of people to vote.

And get this naysayers: it’s already paying off!

Just last night, Glenn was the belle of the ball at a super secret meeting at Trump’s golf course in Sterling with the MAGA Mac Daddy himself. 

Has Doug Burgum ever had that kind of quality time with Trump? Has he ever shown this level of commitment to the MAGA cause? Has he appeared on as many Fox News sets as Glenn? Breathlessly touting his conservative bona fides while the camera completes slow, sexy zoom-ins on picture after picture of a Trump at a podium?

We think not.”

The Spirit of America would also like to extend our gratitude to one of Glenn’s Super PAC aides, who helped spell check this statement. He took a whole two minutes to read it over before loudly declaring Glenn a champion of the working man and then racing off in his BMW Roadster.