Glenn’s Billionaire Buddy Swoons Over Potential Youngkin Candidacy

November 2, 2023

After additional reports that thousands of Virginians were “accidentally” purged from voting rolls ahead of critical, statewide elections, it makes way more sense to ignore this civil rights violation and instead focus on the billionaires “lining up” to encourage Glenn to run for president.

Case in point: according to recent Forbes reporting, Glenn’s billionaire cheerleader Thomas Peterffy continues to salivate over the possibility of a Youngkin candidacy. 

Ah, billionaires! the lifeblood of the Republican grassroots. 

From the Forbes story:

“Peterffy says that he and ‘several tens’ of other Republican billionaires and mega-donors have been urging Youngkin to run. ‘We are all enthusiastic and waiting for him to win Virginia and enter the race.’”

While it took several hours to track down one of the “several tens” of mega-donors, one finally agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. 

“What’s more important: a few thousand voters who can’t cast a ballot or a few billion dollars injected into Glenn’s Super PAC?” the GOP donor said, rolling down his limousine window. “What the worker bees don’t understand is that we job-creating heroes are the ones who call the shots. They should just sit back and take comfort in knowing that we know what’s best.” 

Here at Spirit of America, we agree: if it’s anything the GOP base can agree on, it’s that they support the candidate with the most billionaire backing!

And while voting rights advocates continue to question Glenn’s lackadaisical approach to addressing an issue which has disenfranchised thousands of Virginias, thick wads of cash are busy burning holes through the expensive pockets of ultra-wealthy anti-Trump donors who are begging Glenn to enter the race.

“Sure, let ‘em vote…eventually,” another unnamed high-dollar donor whispered covertly. “Just wait until after Election Day and after my check to the Super PAC has cleared. Whatever it takes to convince Glenn to finally run for president.” 

When asked if he thought that voters, and not an influx of out-of-state cash from multi-billionaires, should drive presidential campaign decisions, the donor laughed.

“Glenn’s a private equity guy. He’s one of us. Between a handful of angry Virginians who can’t vote and the mega donors who could propel him to the national stage, who do you think he’ll listen to?”