Yesterday, the Virginia General Assembly passed a totally irresponsible, unhinged, and disastrous budget that invests in public education, mental health, affordable housing, and more.
That’s not in keeping with the Spirit of America that Glenn embodies. Which is why, while the woke left spent months focused on delivering crucial investments for Virginia’s families, Glenn had his eyes set on the real prize:
Giving beleaguered corporations a very small, permanent $1 billion tax cut.
“But what about the poor conglomerates?!” an unidentified member of the Youngkin team could be heard shouting from the rooftop of the Patrick Henry Building following the General Assembly’s vote. “Who’s looking out for them?! Only Glenn!”
“This budget invests in students, teachers, veterans, working families, and so many others,” another aide was quoted as saying, counting off the different groups on each finger with increasing anger. “But when does Glenn get to use hard-earned taxpayer dollars to give a leg up to multimillionaires, big polluters, and corporations making wind-fall profits?”
Here at Spirit of America, we understand Glenn’s passion for passing massive tax cuts for the wealthiest residents and multinational corporations, even as everyday Virginians are struggling. Unfortunately, that measly, drop-in-the-bucket $1 billion took a backseat to other, less important priorities, like students.
“Get your priorities straight,” the same aide said. “Glenn is focused on the little guys: our boardroom warriors and hedge-fund managers who are fighting the good fight. They’re doing the hard work of delivering for investors and shipping jobs overseas. Are any of these snot-nosed kids creating jobs? I didn’t think so.”
Despite this defeat at the hands of lousy Democrats who were more focused on people than Glenn’s potential presidential bid, the Spirit of America remains strong! During the hottest summer on record, we’re fortunate to be able to continue gutting woke climate policies that keep communities from flooding and reduce energy costs for households in need. Take that, libs.
To be honest, though,” the aide whispered, “my biggest concern right now isn’t that we lost the budget battle even with Republicans in control of the Governor’s Mansion and one half of the legislature. I’m really worried what this means for Glenn’s presidential ambit–”
Before he could finish his sentence, two men in long coats swept him away into a waiting sedan.