“The Spirit of America” No One Was Asking For

August 11, 2023

“The Spirit of America” is back! There’s even a website. 

In an accompanying press release, an unnamed insider spoke about the new website and what it means for Younkin’s suspected presidential campaign, on the condition that his anonymity be protected just in case there are any other higher-performing presidential campaigns who might be looking to hire.

According to this insider, who claims to understand what Youngkin could possibly be thinking, Glenn is convinced that removing Virginia from the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative and thumbing his nose at the impending climate catastrophe, declaring war on the Commonwealth’s teachers, seeking to restrict access to reproductive healthcare and fighting to spend taxpayer dollars on an expensive tax cut for his corporate friends is proof that he has what it takes to do even more damage in Washington. 

“After less than a full term, Glenn is convinced that he’s already brought the ‘Spirit of Virginia’ back,” the insider said. “Now that he’s washed his hands of the Old Dominion, he’s more focused on doing the same for America. He never really spent much time here anyway, right?”

As of this writing, there haven’t been any follow up announcements from Glenn outlining additional bad policy decisions, extremist positions or pearl-clutching tweets. 

“But depending on what time zone he’s in, he might still be waking up,” the insider advised.